Saudade

by Mr. J. Medeiros

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credits

released 14 June 2011

Written by: Mr. J. Medeiros
Produced by: The Stare

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Track Name: Fear and Safety feat. Bekah Wagner
Face me
Fasten your form here
Trace me
Draw lines the patterns reborn stare hastily
For now share my ground
Bare till its weight free
Then take me
I’m out of my norm here
Make me
In bedrooms closing doors to all the hallways
In awe that I have always knelt on all your wings
Days pass I’m still here
In a daze
Fasting fearful amazed

And he says my world is in your hands
He says be careful my world is in your hands

I lost touch
I caused much and never meant to
Dry ink one eye blink
Heaven rescues
Worthy you could hurt me
How would you help me
I ask this may I have this
Healthy
Feelings my mind stays fixed beyond my ceiling
Trusting in the image of my first love
Healing
Chase me cus if I run away you can’t replace me
Face me
Fear and safety

If I am
Then I need safety
Track Name: Saudade
Saudade
Track Name: The Weak End
When it first happened
He heard laughing
The words trapped in
The absurd action turned as curd does
Ask him
Air sour shared in a shower of stares
The power to dare
A coward to devour a hare
Wearing a sheep’s skin
He peeks in and sees the company that keeps him
Blunted on the hunt they seek weak men
Running on the train for the hundreds and change
With money to claim
Let’s see them take it from me again
On the weak end

Say you will
I’ll believe you can help me survive
My excuses
Say I can
And remind me that I’m still a man
A man
A man with choices

With his brim slanted
His slim standing grinning within
Handed his jim to the kid at the window
Implanted
Sin branded his kin
A lantern as dim
As the answers we spin on CNN
What are we here for
Call him a friend when it calls you again
The drawls we defend falling to the floor on our men
The porn
Or the pen writing on the walls we suspend
We tell ourselves we’ll never do it again
On the weak end

Say you will
I’ll believe you can help me survive
My excuses
Say I can
And remind me that I’m still a man
A man
A man with choices

Now I don’t know what’s more useless
The truth when it’s truth-less
The youth’s only enemy
Wasted energy and excuses
Always with somebody to blame
In a lottery sorry you're the only body to claim
Now there the proof is
Now tell me where the roof is
I’ll tare a hole in it before I ever leave my true friends
And don’t even question me on family
The weak end can’t handle me
Track Name: Nothing Without Providence
I am recognizing that the print inside my hand
Is telling me to find myself and never follow other man
Cus other men are full of ideas that can do horrible things
And if I don’t know who I am
I can fall for anything

Now he was born on a mountain
Scorned by the west winds
Warned by the fountain
You're your only best friend
Tossed in the fire
For calling it a liar
Lost his left hand but he walked out alive yeah
He said there aint a sky here without a tail in it
They want your eyes and ears cus there’s a sale in it
Conspicuous consumption
Conspiracies conforming your function
The suited men pursuing him to act like a pseudonym
Soon threw him in with an axe
Saying break this rock here find my soul
Put him to work at 90 years old

No I am not compliant
No I am not defiant
No I am not disclosed
No I am not reliant
No I am not submissive
No I am not listed
No I’m not domineering
No I will not fit this “No”
Until I know, until I know
Until I know, until I know
You better know, you better know
You better know, you better know

Now I have got a voice and it's the voice you’re hearing now
Leaving you the only choice to adhere or tune it out
To the message that I’m speaking and the Providence I’m after
But I am not a leader I’m a rapper

Now she was born on a mountain
Scorned by the west winds
Warned by the fountain
You’re your only best friend
Tossed in the fire
For calling it a liar
Lost her left hand but she walked out alive yeah
She said there aint a home here without a rat in it
Whether or not its known we still trapped with it
Leverage the clock with a measure of stock
When the temperatures hot we sit alone and just adapt with it
The embryo defending no was attacked
By the men who grow lands of snow in a sac
Saying cut these crops down save my days
Put her to work with a baby on the way

No I am not compliant
No I am not defiant
No I am not disclosed
No I am not reliant
No I am not submissive
No I am not listed
No I’m not domineering
No I will not fit this “No”
Until I know, until I know
Until I know, until I know
You better know, you better know
You better know, you better know
Track Name: Depression is a Liar
I guess I’m overjoyed
It never mattered to me
I guess I’m just a boy
It never mattered to me
Cus when your out of reach and out of touch
I know this much
It’s easier to bare

Depression is a liar
When its pressed against your will
The pressure of it kills any desire
To believe and aspire
Then it leaves you admiring the still
Eyeing from the sill
Exiled from societies mills
Sits a child you cant fill with anxiety pills
A smile
A file full of therapy
A mile for a man with his hands full of family

I guess there’s more to life
It never mattered to me
You know I’m sure right
It never mattered to me
Cus when your out of reach and out of touch
I know this much
It’s easier to bare

And the deceiver is here
Feel the grieving the teeth
Cleaving any reason to tare
Breathing the heat in a season of fear
Got you beat as a snare dreaming of air
Feet leaving you there
Either belief or despair
Beneath your aware
When it speaks feel the temperature peak in your ear
Its all fair or its warfare
Hidden in the walls bare
The children who call more then yall hear

I guess I know
I need to know
I need to punch a hole here
And you can peel it back
And you can kick it in
And scream at the world within
Is it easier to bare
So we build a new frame from the flesh we've grown
And fill our view with the things we've left alone

The games over
Pained shoulders
Aimed sober
Came the owner of the blame
And tamed that lame soldier
Had it out with my nemesis
Found what my premise is
Hung it like a cross for reference
Yes this is
The isolated break the ice awaiting
Turn the eye awakened to the burning of the lie
The mind elated

The hopelessness
The helplessness
Say they help us live
It's never easier to bare
Track Name: Stand Down feat. A Mouse Named Wolf
And I stand alone
Half man half idol with a hand of stone
You ask can my recital lead a man to home
On the path to that title seat I am to own
Basically the answers no
I do it without a dance and a cameo
I threw out chance and ran to advance the thrown
You doubt plans but can’t see the landing zone
And I’ve grown you can hear it in the stanza shown
With no gimmicks just lyrics for the fans who know
Show spirit get near it and your hands will glow
I’m sheer wit can’t mirror it with fancy clothes
I gotta an antsy flow understandably so
They use to call me Ted Dancing cus I ran the show
They use to call with a grin like screw yall crew
But I’m all in winning 7- 2 off suit
Look at you all cute with your shoes all fruit
And your clothing all loud like you threw off mute
While you boasting all proud as you chew off groups
Who wrote the underground sound
Yuppie who owns you
Rappers is getting lazy I threw on Juice
These rappers is getting Shwayze To Wong Foo
Through it all I knew It’d be the light of the few
While you tryna make it right like two wrongs do
Got a new song dude and it sound like this
I pound my fist in any style you want to
I gotta noose on you and around my wrist
The sound of the tick counting while you all blue
Through the walls I flew your commercial jet
No pilot all crew to reverse the debt
You violate the rules I’m the first to set
Your verse inept I’m violent the worst is yet
And I do it without a glock my subversive tech
Burn effect getting popped aint worth a check
As I sit back and watch what the hearse collect
I give back what the lost aint learned from yet

We'll stand like Aborigines
So come and follow me
This is the year of the culture vulture
And someday you will see
That their picking at the bones
And their leaving no more meat
We will divide and conquer
And you will know us by our screams
Stand down

See I’m murderer with the left
I’m even worse with the right
And If you heard of my fervor
Then you heard them right
Now that’s two rights I add one to make it more wrong
But four in total if you following the song
And one more to go as I’m on perform
I gotta tall ego you can call my moms
As I shorty I was a live one hard to calm
I weigh 145 now all in arms
You been warned you get harmed with a Bronson charm
Try to cultivate a flow that's hard to farm
Cus where it grows you only hear car alarms
And where it goes those cars with the car alarms
I’m far from norm
But I’m Ted as I said I’m never far from Norm
See there’s a star that's born in every bar at dawn
When he’s searching for his car with the car alarm
And you’ll never get it right you a feather on the mic
I’m a Letterman type veteran in measurement of hype
I'm like that of a gentleman my etiquette is nice
I fight like a rebel when you meddle with my slice
You get leveled tryna settle with the dice
Wearing fools metal you too cool selling advice
The price of mans worship
Unhanded when the verse slip
Stand down come on man it aint worth it

We'll stand like Aborigines
So come and follow me
This is the year of the culture vulture
And someday you will see
That their picking at the bones
And their leaving no more meat
We will divide and conquer
And you will know us by our screams
I am no rotter
Track Name: Swallow feat. Logan
In the lap of a man she dances away the past
And in the act she plans to be the chance he takes
On a date that lasts
Just long enough to feel the daylight
Pass through his arms
In a way eyes who'd reach
If could explain she might believe if he would stay
If he would say I will wait to see you wake
If for my sake to read your smile
Till you realize that I’ve been here all this time
By fate and will if you are mine
I’ll break and spill this youth of mine
Who seeks to bind this trust of yours
And feed this lust on open doors

You see I’m out of here after we lay around
Now that I’m loud in your head
Find your way down
There aint no light here
This aint a play ground
You say to fight fair
I say now face down
Cus baby is just a name I give you ladies
Who should know better then to follow
A crazy idea that maybe you can behave me
It’s never easy to swallow the truth
There’s just no love in me
To swallow the truth
There’s just no love
There’s just no loving me

Say the eyes she reads
Through his lips come lies of the life he leads
And the cup he holds
With his lust comes woe and yet her mind concedes
Till the body follows
Till the body lay hollow
Till it’s hard to swallow
In deed hell bind this trust of yours
And feed his lust on open doors
Of broken boys come broken men
Who search for words with broken pens
Who cling to flesh as if to peek on greater worlds
They'll never seek
How clever is her man
Obscene
Forever in her fantasy
If ever she a plan to be happy
She'll stand and leave.

Truth
There’s just no love in me
To swallow the truth
There’s just no love
There’s just no loving me
You see I’m out of here after we lay around
Now that I’m loud in your head
Find your way down
There aint no light here
This aint a play ground
You say to fight fair
I say now face down
Cus baby is just a name I give you ladies
Who should know better then to follow
A crazy idea that maybe you can behave me
It’s never easy to swallow the truth
There’s just no love in me
To swallow the truth
There’s just no love
There’s just no loving me
Track Name: The Sailor
See I’m adamant in spite
The madam of the night
Beat the Adam that I am
Met a man who couldn’t fight
So he couldn’t get right so he took a bite
So he took her slight way to ignite his life to liking
She could a had a bag of lies to antagonize
And it still would have felt like the right thing
To do to you I gave the trust of a sailor
Who sailed through with no crew in search for the nails of our Savior
And here I am you tailor you who cut men from paper
I say you like it could persuade you to look up and hand me favor

One where I started from
Two when there’s no more you
Three then it came to me
Four we’re always coming back to
One where we started from
Two when there’s no more you
Three then it came to me
Four we’re always coming back to

One one one one one
I’m staring at the sea as
One one one one one
And staring back at me is
One one one one one
When there’s you no more
Run Run Run Run Run
I’m on your shore singing

One day you’ll discover
I’m a lover and you’re a liar
One day you’ll discover
I’m a lover and you’re a liar

Save me now
From the many tongues
From the man who sprung to the women in a bow down
My bow now is swimming through his rum with his mouth out
My doubt my fear
My ears to the sea made it known I abandoned
My house my pier my seer my fleet
And my only companion
And how now should I set these sails to the west
When the breath of the east prevails
And I found out how
The breasts of the beast turn the vestal on the beach into shale
I beseech thee
Keep me or free me on any isle
Exiled from her reach
From the beat of the sea and her deep denial

One where I started from
Two when there’s no more you
Three then it came to me
Four we’re always coming back to
One where we started from
Two when there’s no more you
Three then it came to me
Four we’re always coming back to

One one one one one
I’m staring at the sea as
One one one one one
And staring back at me is
One one one one one
When there’s you no more
Run Run Run Run Run
I’m on your shore singing

One day you’ll discover
I’m a lover and you’re a liar
One day you’ll discover
I’m a lover and you’re a liar
Track Name: So feat. J Kyle Gregory
She is in her room
He is in his car
Talking with his friends about girls
And all the things they are
She is in the mirror
He is on the road
Laughing at the speed he is going
And if his car could explode
This is your get away
She rehearsed in her mind
Putting her hands on her breast for the first time
With the voice in her head
And the body she kept
Like two strangers finding it odd to have met
In a place they both call home
She faces the wall hangings
Changing with the pace she has grown
With his engine still racing
Down the road chasing
For what
They never ask they just pass
He is *
He is a name
She is a shape
He is a conqueror of worlds
She is a grape among wine
Thirsty to the spine he drives
Among time
Unworthy as the blind with eyes who bind souls
She turned fifteen and he turned when the green said go
Cus the scene said so
Cus the team said go
Cus it just seemed so
Cus we just believe what we believe in
So

And so she added a little glow to her cheeks
It never really mattered to her dad
He was just a shadow that speaks
In an effort to abort an affair
That occasionally creeks in the floorboards
And fixes leaks
All but the one in her mind
All but the one that she hides
She paints sex on her eyes
The way she sees it advertised
And she talks away an ego about half her size
And now the guys yell break
They all draw swords
They all separate into rebels without cause
So * makes a call to this girl who is dressed as a women
Though she stalls her address is an omen
And as open as her ears were
She found a boy that could hear her
Who thought of every ploy to get near her
But never adhere her
He sheered her slowly
Steered her from a girl till the woman appeared lowly
Only she’s not known
She’s not full grown
Her body her mind
Her father not home
In the oddest of times she finds she’s alone
Offering thy mind thy body
Thy bone

And now he’s stepping on the gas with all three legs
And never thought how fast his fuel mixed with rage
Or the ways in which he masked his hate with his passion
Passing through her gates
Burning through her grass
Turning the hurt into laughs
From the scorn at the track meet
To the girls that trashed him cus he was born of acne
And wore it like it was ash from a million burnt offerings
Coughing from the smoke in his parents jokes for better offspring
Though this is not the fall or spring
This is the winter
This is the call
This is the ring in which he enters
He 23 years of fame
She with her 15 years with no name
And she didn’t say yes she didn’t say no
He didn’t see green he only heard go
And though she never fought when he took her to the floor
She thought, I don’t want to be a woman anymore
And found her escape in those same wall hangings
Her legs her gates his face
Angry
While dangling above her he kisses her heels
And she wonders
If this is how her mother feels
Track Name: Neon Signs feat. Stro
With her eyes on glow
With her mind on show me the way
With her body lines like neon signs
The last time she shined this door way
I was too young to know
I was too sprung to grow
I was 21
I was but a loaded gun
I tried to hold her to show the sun
But then she said go
Then I escaped like capes out penthouse windows
The day came later then fate
Could have catered the bate
I laid in a state of bent out limbo
And now I'm lost in the way she found me
And now that’s costing me the strength I have
Somehow she's softer then the day she left me
And found I'm a harder game to play at last
I made my way up out the heartache
To find you telling me you miss me
You stated your claim you made it your heartbreak
You hated to say how you felt when you were with me
And now you’re here, like years, like tears describe
Like leer appears in eyes
My sight like near to blind if I hear your side
But hey, you make me feel alive, fear my pride

Take me
Make me feel alive
Oh no
Take me
Here in your arms
I'm gone
Oh my love don't follow me
I'm gone
Oh my love don't follow me
I'm gone
Oh my love don't follow me
Just go

And here she stands
With her plans as hidden as her shoulders
Till the strap of her blouse falls over
Now I'm trapped in her mouth
I told her
With my tongue like hands that hold her
On her words I'm drunk she's sober
She drives my life with truth and lies
It's do or die
She runs me over
The night arrives
I'm colder
I like her disguise
But I know her
And now that I've realized this time she spends is mine
I don’t owe her
Throws her purse to the floor
She turns from the earth to the shore
She burns her worth for more
She's working for
She's hurting for
This shows her how we deserve each other
Only the light of the sun will tell
If in the day we desert each other
Then in the night we had run its spell
And In the sight of our bodies leaving
The only space that was near our side
We will say with our hearts
Still beating
I’m still alive
Fear my pride

Take me
Make me feel alive
Oh no
Take me
Here in your arms
I'm gone
Oh my love don't follow me
I'm gone
Oh my love don't follow me
I'm gone
Oh my love don't follow me
Just go
Track Name: Serious feat. Stro
I don't want to wait another day
It could get a little serious
I don't want to throw it all away
It could get a little serious

I got my mind made up
They say give it time but even time gave up
They say give her the finer things pay up
I say leave her to find her wings and wake up
This is how we break up
Order me around
Ill water down your make up
You ordering a pound of flesh but cant cut
Your older then you sound I guess
Now say what
And here she struts
Fear she I hear she steers me nuts
Clearly the mirror and me aint seen much
Since the deer and the 18 wheeler went crush
And went flush with the pavement
I rushed in like a head
Must of been the Days Inn
Or the ways in which we touched on our way in
Carpe diem turns to carpe damned

I don't want to wait another day
It could get a little serious
I don't want to throw it all away
It could get a little serious
I don't want to see you smile
It could get a little serious
I don't want to see your eyes
It could get a little serious

She aint much on the weigh in
But she gotta punch that’ll punch through a man
Leave me with a hole in my ozone
The reason why I'm colder then a snow cone
Cleaving to the rubble left
No ones home
All alone beaten by the double x chromosome
I know it looks funny
I laughed when I saw the half she took from me
I laughed when she walked pass me
Like a runway Mrs’s
With a one way ticket on a Sunday
This is just the way it goes
I didn't know she was a teaser
But I know a little Weazer
And even they singing to me say it aint so
Singing say it aint so
Even they singing to me say it aint so
Say it aint so

I don't want to wait another day
It could get a little serious
I don't want to throw it all away
Track Name: This is Not a Home
Sipping a scummy pint
Money is tight
Clumsy is night
High dunk types skunking the lights
Funny they fight for no cause
Only to hide in those bars
And scoff from their L.A. lofts at smoke laws
Fashion friendly the the act of trendy
Laugh past you then master the craft of envy
The Pabst half empty
That or an M.G.D.
Have an mp3 on me
Now invent me
Blog writers turn snob drivers for ad space
A cog for hire
The admires of fast pace business
Infiltrate to earn the pass
So now the privileged can imitate the working class
And get they street cred
Tradder Joes and wheat bread
Catering their nose on the weekend
See them on the deep end
In the neon the city sleeps in
And me just another pee on
Man meet me where the leash ends

I need to find a home
I'm looking for a home
I'm thinking of a home
I'm dreaming of a home
The people need a home
A man who needs a home
A woman and a home
Cus when the lights go off
And the show has been played
And you've got nothing but the smell of smoke to your name
And a mirror that you look at
Feeling the hook for every chance you took
You need to look back
Searching for a home

Lovers of apathy and irony
These Iron Sheiks lining the streets
Designer cheap blind eyeing me
Lying asleep how they be finding me
Relying on the files I leak
Between the idols
The sheep seeking the style they keep
Needing a remedy
As Ceci N'est Pas Une Pipe
Feeds they identity
Evolve
They too self involved
Their too many
For you my two pennies on cool
For who the self dissolves
Felt resolve from a photograph
My father his guitar and a phonograph
A scholar in a bar with a foaming stash
Putting a dollar in your jar for the culture clash
Holding fast to a flash made memory
The past fades endlessly
They ask in their veins to remember me
Two vain eyes in a friendless sleep
Who will remain disguised in every senseless tweet

I need to find a home
I'm looking for a home
I'm thinking of a home
I'm dreaming of a home
The people need a home
A man who needs a home
A woman and a home
Cus when the lights go off
And the show has been played
And you've got nothing but the smell of smoke to your name
And a mirror that you look at
Feeling the hook for every chance you took
You need to look back

It's getting even harder to find friends
Being without a car
Believing the bartend
Can see you for who you are in the end
A lost rapper
A Johnny Walker Black
A sox ball cap
A false rapture
Now tell me something honest offend me
Just tell me that I'm artless hem me
Tell me cuz I'm armless my mouth is harnessed
I'm out of promise
I'm harmless
My honor won't defend me
The dollar who lusts pop
It lends me a damaging trust
The Los Angeles bus stop is empty
I pass them they mask it friendly
The laughing the last one standing
We acting like we stand-ins
Tempt me
My testimony
I'm the moleskin I'm told in
The sentence that left me lonely
With nothing but a phone in my palm
I was something back home with mom

I need to find a home
I'm looking for a home
I'm thinking of a home
I'm dreaming of a home
The people need a home
A man who needs a home
A woman and a home
Cus when the lights go off
And the show has been played
And you've got nothing but the smell of smoke to your name
And a mirror that you look at
Feeling the hook for every chance you took
You need to look back
Searching for a home
Track Name: Shower Curtains feat. J Kyle Gregory
You see I'm out of service
I beat the robot til it power surged
And out resurfaced Mozart
In a crowded church
See how I word this
Since our emergence we have bowed to serpents
Insurgents and towers burning
In turn its our hour learning
Shower curtains
Lurking in shadows found my former self
In shallow water born to self
The gallows taught us warn ourselves
So now I'm working
Searching to purge sin
Tilting the urge till earth ends
And we emerge when mirth wins
And our rebirth is certain
The works of hurt men
The purchase and that push
Pen
Pass
The point of no return
How will that bushman last
The oil slowly burned
Into the earn with their ash
Spoiled and churned
Turning this soil to earn cash
The boil of cursed passed
The turmoil that turned these boys to first blast
And ask for the purse after
The work master
That shun God and make gun shots heard
Laughter
Word to the past
The man that looked fast
The hand that shook the world from the earth
When asked
Why the verse sound the way it do
I'm sour an aimed at you
Cowards who deflower
With no power to tame the shrew
Came out and sang a few
Now their paying you in compliments
Consequences swaying your view
Praying for confidence
I'm laying these constant steps by all means
Through withdrawal
Through any width of wall that intervene
The pitfall
The sick of it all know what I mean
As I sit tall
And witness the fall
Of the machine

If you complain no one will listen
If you boast no one will care
Be grateful and thankful
And all will be... - Joseph Medeiros
Track Name: Pink Light (Bonus)
With her eyes on glow
With her mind on show me the way
With her body lines like neon signs
The last time she shined this door way
I was too young to know
I was too sprung to grow
I was 21
I was but a loaded gun
I tried to hold her to show the sun
But then she said go
Then I escaped like capes out penthouse windows
The day came later then fate
Could have catered the bate
I laid in a state of bent out limbo
And now I'm lost in the way she found me
And now that’s costing me the strength I have
Somehow she's softer then the day she left me
And found I'm a harder game to play at last
I made my way up out the heartache
To find you telling me you miss me
You stated your claim you made it your heartbreak
You hated to say how you felt when you were with me
And now you’re here, like years, like tears describe
Like leer appears in eyes
My sight like near to blind if I hear your side
But hey, you make me feel alive, fear my pride


And here she stands
With her plans as hidden as her shoulders
Till the strap of her blouse falls over
Now I'm trapped in her mouth
I told her
With my tongue like hands that hold her
On her words I'm drunk she's sober
She drives my life with truth and lies
It's do or die
She runs me over
The night arrives
I'm colder
I like her disguise
But I know her
And now that I've realized this time she spends is mine
I don’t owe her
Throws her purse to the floor
She turns from the earth to the shore
She burns her worth for more
She's working for
She's hurting for
This shows her how we deserve each other
Only the light of the sun will tell
If in the day we desert each other
Then in the night we had run its spell
And In the sight of our bodies leaving
The only space that was near our side
We will say with our hearts
Still beating
I’m still alive
Fear my pride
Track Name: So - J DNTS Remix (Bonus)
She is in her room
He is in his car
Talking with his friends about girls
And all the things they are
She is in the mirror
He is on the road
Laughing at the speed he is going
And if his car could explode
This is your get away
She rehearsed in her mind
Putting her hands on her breast for the first time
With the voice in her head
And the body she kept
Like two strangers finding it odd to have met
In a place they both call home
She faces the wall hangings
Changing with the pace she has grown
With his engine still racing
Down the road chasing
For what
They never ask they just pass
He is *
He is a name
She is a shape
He is a conqueror of worlds
She is a grape among wine
Thirsty to the spine he drives
Among time
Unworthy as the blind with eyes who bind souls
She turned fifteen and he turned when the green said go
Cus the scene said so
Cus the team said go
Cus it just seemed so
Cus we just believe what we believe in
So

And so she added a little glow to her cheeks
It never really mattered to her dad
He was just a shadow that speaks
In an effort to abort an affair
That occasionally creeks in the floorboards
And fixes leaks
All but the one in her mind
All but the one that she hides
She paints sex on her eyes
The way she sees it advertised
And she talks away an ego about half her size
And now the guys yell break
They all draw swords
They all separate into rebels without cause
So * makes a call to this girl who is dressed as a women
Though she stalls her address is an omen
And as open as her ears were
She found a boy that could hear her
Who thought of every ploy to get near her
But never adhere her
He sheered her slowly
Steered her from a girl till the woman appeared lowly
Only she’s not known
She’s not full grown
Her body her mind
Her father not home
In the oddest of times she finds she’s alone
Offering thy mind thy body
Thy bone

And now he’s stepping on the gas with all three legs
And never thought how fast his fuel mixed with rage
Or the ways in which he masked his hate with his passion
Passing through her gates
Burning through her grass
Turning the hurt into laughs
From the scorn at the track meet
To the girls that trashed him cus he was born of acne
And wore it like it was ash from a million burnt offerings
Coughing from the smoke in his parents jokes for better offspring
Though this is not the fall or spring
This is the winter
This is the call
This is the ring in which he enters
He 23 years of fame
She with her 15 years with no name
And she didn’t say yes she didn’t say no
He didn’t see green he only heard go
And though she never fought when he took her to the floor
She thought, I don’t want to be a woman anymore
And found her escape in those same wall hangings
Her legs her gates his face
Angry
While dangling above her he kisses her heels
And she wonders
If this is how her mother feels
Track Name: Swallow - Ghost Remix (Bonus)
In the lap of a man she dances away the past
And in the act she plans to be the chance he takes
On a date that lasts
Just long enough to feel the daylight
Pass through his arms
In a way eyes who'd reach
If could explain she might believe if he would stay
If he would say I will wait to see you wake
If for my sake to read your smile
Till you realize that I’ve been here all this time
By fate and will if you are mine
I’ll break and spill this youth of mine
Who seeks to bind this trust of yours
And feed this lust on open doors

You see I’m out of here after we lay around
Now that I’m loud in your head
Find your way down
There aint no light here
This aint a play ground
You say to fight fair
I say now face down
Cus baby is just a name I give you ladies
Who should know better then to follow
A crazy idea that maybe you can behave me
It’s never easy to swallow the truth
There’s just no love in me
To swallow the truth
There’s just no love
There’s just no loving me

Say the eyes she reads
Through his lips come lies of the life he leads
And the cup he holds
With his lust comes woe and yet her mind concedes
Till the body follows
Till the body lay hollow
Till it’s hard to swallow
In deed hell bind this trust of yours
And feed his lust on open doors
Of broken boys come broken men
Who search for words with broken pens
Who cling to flesh as if to peek on greater worlds
They'll never seek
How clever is her man
Obscene
Forever in her fantasy
If ever she a plan to be happy
She'll stand and leave.

Truth
There’s just no love in me
To swallow the truth
There’s just no love
There’s just no loving me
You see I’m out of here after we lay around
Now that I’m loud in your head
Find your way down
There aint no light here
This aint a play ground
You say to fight fair
I say now face down
Cus baby is just a name I give you ladies
Who should know better then to follow
A crazy idea that maybe you can behave me
It’s never easy to swallow the truth
There’s just no love in me
To swallow the truth
There’s just no love
There’s just no loving me